More Than Pain
by goldfishlover73
Summary: After Neji's death, Team Gai struggles with the loss of their teammate. Lee tries to stay strong for the rest of his team-for Tenten, but he had never really been strong enough.


As the dust settled after the war, life for the people of Konoha started to go back to normal.

Lee just tried not to pay attention to the little things.

He still trained every day. Seeing the destruction of life did not deter him from his training. Every morning he woke up early, ate a light breakfast before going out to the training fields and warming up. Not long after that Gai-sensei would show up and they would train together. Tenten would arrive an hour after that and begun stretching as they prepared for the day.

It was just done…less enthusiastically.

Gai-sensei talked less. His smiles never quite made it to his eyes. Lee tried though. He wasn't as loud as before, but he strained to put some heart into preparing for the training exercises for the day. It would perk Gai-sensei up a bit, and even Tenten would smile softly.

_But the hole was still there._

He also tried not to notice the scarcity of Naruto. The day everyone returned to the village, Gai-sensei's strong grip on his and Tenten's shoulders as they walked through the gates, Naruto approached them. His face was pale, his bright, blue, shining eyes staring down at the ground as he opened his mouth to speak. His voice cracking and dropped before the words could spill. His shoulders were taunt and he wringed his white knuckled hands.

Tenten broke free of Gai-sensei's grasp and pulled Naruto's face to her shoulder, holding him tightly as sobs wracked his body, clenching to Tenten as if she were his lifeline. Her brown eyes watered slightly, but she ran her fingers through his hair, whispering nothings to him as he chanted "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry" between heavy gasps.

III

The winter had settled on Konoha. The reconstruction of his village was almost complete. Despite the puff of smoke from every breath he took, his spandex was tied around his waist as he counted four hundred and thirty six out of five hundred sit ups. When his back hit the ground, the icy dew chilled his heated body.

His body screamed as he willed it faster. Neiji wouldn't want him to slack in his training.

He felt her presence, but continued on, doing six hundred before he stopped, panting. He doubled over his knees, muscles aching for oxygen as her light footfalls crunch the grass. He looked up at her and his heart contracted. Her eyes were slightly red and swollen, not matching the smile on her lips. She asked to spar, to not go easy on her.

He complied (a little).

III

It was the dead of winter when Tenten first knocked on his door. It had started snowing earlier in the day and he decided that he would do core work from inside his small apartment (Gai-sensei apologized to him earlier, saying he was going to train with Kakashi-sensei today).

_Kakashi-sensei could help Gai-sensei. Then Gai-sensei could help them._

Especially Tenten.

He opened the door, her smiling face faltered slightly. A lump formed in his throat as he stood to the side, allowing her to enter. As she removed her shoes, he went to the window, opening it wide to air out the smell of sweat.

He smiled widely at her. "It is a pleasant surprise, Tenten!" he said brightly. She smiled softly at him, pulling her jacket closer to her as a breeze from outside swirled through the living room. "I was just doing pull ups off my door frame? Would you like to train as well?" it was forced and it sounded forced, but training was all he knew.

She shook her head, biting her lip. Her brown eyes watered before sniffed loudly.

He knew it was foolish, "Are you-are you doing okay, Tenten?"

"It's hard." She choked. Lee covered the distance, catching her before she fell to the ground, wrapping her arms around him, sobbing into his chest. "We are still together, but why do I feel so alone?"

"It is because something is now missing from our lives…but not our hearts." He whispered, holding her tightly against him. He swallowed the lump in his throat and held in his tears. He had to be strong. For her.

For Gai-sensei.

For Neji.

III

Tenten fell asleep against him a week later as they spoke softly on his couch about everything except him.

Tenten asked if she could train with him and he smiled, "Of course Tenten!" he whispered excitedly. "We will start with three hundred laps around-"

He froze as she kissed him. His body numbed as he felt her hand grip his t-shirt, holding him still. His body weakened as his heart dropped as a pang of guilt shot through him.

This was not right.

When she broke the kiss, her eyes were watery, reflecting his emotionless face. "Tenten-?"

She shook her head and placed it on his chest, his heart hammering as he felt her breathing even out against him. He sat perfectly still as he looked down at her surprised.

This is not what she needed.

He would have to become stronger.

III

Tenten trained with him. She thanked him for not going easy. As she ran her three hundred, he got in five hundred and twenty one laps. His legs ached as they came to the entrance of the village where Gai-sensei waved. His eyes were bright, but not as bright as his smile. "We have a mission!" his voice faltered slightly.

Luckily, it was a three man mission. Because Lee didn't know if he could keep this up with someone _else_.

III

He had not been home two hours from Team Gai's first mission when there was a tentative knock on his front door. He opened the door, not surprisingly find Tenten. She took two strong steps to him, wrapping her hand around his head, pulling him down and kissing him.

She pushed off his Chuunin vest as they stumbled across his apartment into a chair. His hands found her waist and they were glued to the spot.

Her unspoken advances filled his mind_. 'Please, please make me feel _something_ more than pain.'_ He was her teammate. It was his job to protect her.

But he still wasn't strong enough.

III

By the third time he had gotten it right.

That first night was terrible. The pain that shot through her made her choke out a sob and as he tried to kiss the tears away, her fingers digging into his shoulder blades, pulling him closer made him realize she wasn't crying from the physical pain. It was the same pain that shot through him.

The heart wrenching guilt.

Lee wasn't stupid. He knew his teammates held a special place in their hearts for each other. And now, him pressed against Tenten, his shaky hands rubbing up and down her arms, whispering incoherent words he realized it was a mistake. But he kidded himself into thinking this was what Tenten needed and he would do what he had to to help her through this.

The following morning he ran one thousand laps around the village, coming back to his empty apartment that smell of sex and regrets.

But she came back. And then again.

It was that special third time when her eyes finally looked at him with passion instead of grief. He smiled widely, kissing her neck as his hand ran through her down, silky brown locks. He made her squirm and pant heavily. But most important-he made her feel _alive_.

III

He knew that Gai-sensei knew. But if he disagreed with it, he didn't voice it. Winter was more than half way over and training was getting back to normal. Gai-sensei pushing Lee past his limit, Tenten not far behind. They all were able to smile. Gai-sensei even mentioned how spring was almost upon them and they would feel the youth springing from their bones.

Lee felt a weight lift from his shoulders as his teacher started babbling on.

Things might be okay.

III

He had one hundred and sixty seven more round kicks and if he couldn't finish those then it would be three thousand jump ropes and if he couldn't-

"Lee-kun!"

Lee froze mid kick, his leg cocked at his hip, his base foot fully pivoted, waiting for the explosion when he hear Sakura-san's voice. He looked over to her and she rushed to him.

"Lee-kun, your feet." She whispered, bending down to his feet. He looked down at was shocked to find his wrappings red and sticky.

"You need to take better care of yourself." She chastised. Anger flared in Lee, but he shook it off. It was _Sakura. _She smiled sadly, "Are you doing okay? With-with everything?"

He smiled brightly, "I am fine Sakura-san! I was just overly enthusiastic about training! Gai-sensei is going to show us a-"

"I mean other things." Sakura said softly. Her hands began to glow as he felt her chakra on his bones. Lee didn't speak. "I know how hard it is, losing a teammate-"

"I mean no disrespect, Sakura-san, but I really don't think you do." He said darkly. Her green eyes snapped to his as she smiled sadly at him.

"I know that losing Sasuke isn't the same as losing Ne-"

"Do not compare Neji with that traitor!" Lee snapped, pulling himself free of her touch. His stomach dropped and felt bile rise in his throat. _She doesn't understand_. "Neji died a valiant death worthy of a Shinobi! He died protecting those that he loves! That he _respects_." Sakura's green eyes looked away as a thick ball tried to form in Lee's throat. "So I appreciate your actions, but they are unnecessary because we have been through to completely different situations." Without waiting for her to respond he turned and left the training grounds. As soon as the village came into view, he broke into a sprint, tears finally rolling down his cheeks. _Sakura-san cannot understand! How can she! Tenten-Tenten understands! She understands this pain-this loss._

He took a shaky breath as his mind flashed to what Team Gai has become. His body burned as he passed his apartment. They were broken. Incomplete without Neji. Not even a year had passed and so much had changed.

Things were getting better, but _were they really_?

Before he realized it, he was banging on Tenten's front door. _He shouldn't be here. Not here. Not with her. _Never_ with her._

He collapsed on the front door mat, looking down at his knees, hands curled in tight fist as he tried to hold back the tears. _You were right from the very beginning, Neji. I'll never be strong enough._

Warms hands grasped his balled fist. His dark eyes snapped up to see Tenten smiling sadly at him. _It's not the same as Sakura-sans. Those eyes were filled with pity. These-hers-they are filled with understanding._

"Come, Lee." She said softly, so calmly, Lee could only nod as he let her pull him up and into her apartment. As she closed the door, she pulled him into a strong hug.

His arms quickly wrapped around her and he inhaled her scent. "Sakura-san doesn't understand our pain, Tenten." He whispered his voice high and strained, tightening his grip.

"No."

"No one understands."

"They don't."

He sniffed loudly, clutching onto her for dear life. "I am sorry Tenten-I am not strong enough."

He sobbed.

III

Hours later they were laying on her couch, this time he in her arms and her fingers running through his hair. He felt terrible-worse than any training session, but his heart seemed lighter.

"Do you feel better, Lee?" Tenten asked softly, slightly drowsy.

He nodded. "I am sorry, Tenten, I did not mean to unload myself on you like that."

She hummed lightly, "I was so worried about you, Lee. You usually are so open with your emotions, but you were keeping them so bottle in."

"I was trying to be strong."

"Sometimes to be strong, you must rely on your teammates."

He grinned, "Gai-sensei said that."

She hummed lazily.

They were silent for a few minutes before Lee felt fingers intertwine with his. "Thank you, for everything, Lee." He looked over to her and saw a tear rolling down her cheek. He reached up with his free hand to wipe it away. It rested on her cheek. "I had hoped that I could help you feel more than pain, but…it might have been making your pain worse."

Lee's eyes widened, "No! Of course not-"

"I want to help you Lee. I do not want to lose you." She tightened her hand on his. "Please let me in."

His hand lightly lifted her cheek as he pushed himself up slightly to brush his lips against hers. He didn't know what else to do.

"Thank you, Tenten." She smiled brightly, kissing him softly.

III

AN: God, I had no idea how to end this. I didn't necessarily want a 'ta-da!' ending. I wanted a more open ended, but I couldn't figure out the best way to do that.

I wrote this about six hours after reading the chapter where Neji dies, so…I'm a total slacker at uploading.

I'm not necessarily a Lee/Tenten person. Or a Tenten/Neji or anyone from that team with anyone, but this would not leave me alone. I really hope that I captured the Lee/Tenten relationship properly. I hope you understood what I was going for.

And Sakura…I think I wrote Lee pretty well in that moment. Angry Lee is hard to write, especially when he's talking to Sakura.

Comments, complaints and snide remarks are welcome!

Thanks for reading!


End file.
